NSA Readies IPO For Website

[Anonymous <nobody@replay.com>]

NSA Readies IPO For Website 
Tue 08 Jun 12:31:15 1999 BST

A.P. Newswire Washington DC - An NSA official (who requested his name be withheld for fear of
appearing in the sequel to Sneakers), has confirmed that the NSA is readying an IPO.      

"We think that this will offer an excellent opportunity for investors to make some money off of the
government," the source stated.       

When queried on what exactly investors would be buying stock in, the source mumbled something about having to
attend a wiretapping session, offered the interviewers $20 to "forget that I was here" and hurried from the room. 

Industry experts remain skeptical as to the validity of an IPO from a governmental institution. "I think they're 
trying to figure out how to make some money, now that Congress has caught them with their pants down with this
whole Echelon thing," Wall Street insider Irving P. Ormond stated. "What with all these high-tech IPO's out
there, I think someone at the NSA figured: 'Hey, we're high-tech too! We could make some money out of this 
thing!'" 

Rumor has it that the FBI was also planning an IPO on their licensed clothing line ("I'm a part of the Federal 
Witness Protection Program..."). While proof is scarce, some experts suspect the NSA for the recent cracking
attacks on the FBI's website. 

A representative from the FBI declined to comment on the attacks but took time to state that "Our summer attire
catalog will be available at the end of June from our website, featuring a whole new line of J. Edgar Hoover
signature sun dresses."